Dims and Sims
This is a wonderful little golden nugget of a coping strategy that was shared to me by Letters of Hope volunteer, Christine, who kindly contributes her time to writing letters.
Christine told me what she had learnt about DIMS and SIMS, and I asked her if she would like to share some of this knowledge in a blog. Enjoy!
Dear Caring Friends of Letter of Hope,
As I write my letters I am reminded that not only must they contain compassion, encouragement, and understanding of the receiver’s present circumstances, but somehow I feel I need to include ideas that are life-affirming.
Unless we can find the ways to still see the good that is in Life and all around us, the darkness that engulfs us only grows stronger. Of course the need for professional helpers goes without saying, but I also believe there comes a time when we can find ways to help ourselves. This is so empowering.
The thing is not to use those empty positive sayings like you can do this, it can get better in time etc. I am sure we all have heard someone say something like this to us at some time when we are hurting and while the person means well we often feel even worse because they have missed the mark, not understood - often because they have just not had such a depth of experience. I have one suggestion that you may take, leave, or alter as you please for it comes from my own experience and for each of us our perceptions of our experience is different.
A few years ago I broke my right hip at the age of 68. This followed on only a few years after a cardiac procedure had gone terribly wrong and caused my near death. I never quite got over the experience of my near death and its repercussions despite all my inner work, so when I broke my hip and recovery was slow and painful a lot of those old fears returned. It is wonderful how Life has this way of reaching out to us in times like these, shows us we are not on our own.
I was fortunate to meet the Physio at the local hospital. She said, now we are going to work on the pain you are feeling. This seemed quite ridiculous to me - of course it was my hip. But she started to talk about thought processes and described 2 ways of thinking. One she called DIMS and the other SIMS.
The DIMS as you will imagine are all those horrible little nagging thoughts that brought me down, especially when I felt vulnerable. The SIMS are those that I embrace as a part of who I am and feel good every time I do them.
She said the thing is to recognise and accept the DIMS, but then counter this with a SIM. A SIM is something personally uplifting, AND THEN GO AND DO THE THING THAT WILL MOST HELP YOU FEEL BETTER.
All that is required is to muster the energy, to begin, and then the love you have for your Something will kick in. I really worked with this - I had learnt these ideas before but had forgotten them. And soon I was doing a lot better. I am forever thankful to this young woman and do not know her name.
If there is anything in any of this please use it, if not throw it away.
I wish you all every blessing,
