Checking In: A Guide for Supporting Colleagues in the Workplace
How to recognise when someone may be struggling, start a conversation, and offer support.
Why This Matters: In any workplace, colleagues look out for each other. Whether it’s a small change in behaviour or a noticeable shift in someone’s energy, checking in when something feels "off" can make a real difference.
Mental health challenges can affect anyone, and you don’t need to have all the answers—just showing that you care is a great first step. This guide will help you:
✔ Recognise when a colleague may be struggling.
✔ Start a conversation in a way that feels natural and supportive.
✔ Offer helpful next steps, without pressure or judgment.
1. Signs a Colleague May Be Struggling
It’s not always obvious when someone is having a tough time, but here are some common signs that a colleague may need support:
Changes in behaviour: They may seem more withdrawn, irritable, or distant.
Drop in work performance: Missed deadlines, difficulty concentrating, or uncharacteristic mistakes.
Changes in appearance or energy levels: Looking exhausted, unwell, or lacking usual enthusiasm.
Increased absences or arriving late: Frequent sick days or disengagement from work.
Avoiding social interaction: Declining invitations to lunch, meetings, or team activities.
Expressing negative emotions: Making frequent comments about stress, burnout, or feeling overwhelmed.
Noticing just one of these signs doesn’t always mean something is wrong. But if you notice a pattern, it might be a good time to check in.
2. How to Start the Conversation
If you’re concerned about a colleague, reaching out in a supportive and non-intrusive way can help them feel comfortable opening up.
Conversation Starters
Keep it simple, show you care, and avoid putting pressure on them to respond in a certain way.
✔ “Hey [Colleague’s Name], I’ve noticed you seem a bit different lately. Is everything okay?”
✔ “I know work has been really busy lately. How have you been coping?”
✔ “You don’t seem yourself these past few days. I just wanted to check in—how are you doing?”
✔ “I’ve noticed you’ve been really quiet in meetings. If there’s anything on your mind, I’m happy to chat.”
✔ “I know things have been stressful lately. Is there anything I can do to support you?”
What If They Don’t Want to Talk?
Not everyone will feel ready to open up—and that’s okay. If they dismiss the conversation, you can say:
“No worries, just know I’m here if you ever want to talk.”
“That’s totally fine—if anything changes, I’m happy to listen anytime.”
“I don’t want to pry, but I just wanted you to know I care.”
The goal isn’t to ‘fix’ the problem—just to create space for them to talk if they want to.
3. How to Respond if They Do Open Up
If a colleague shares that they are struggling, your role is to listen, not solve.
What to Do:
Listen with an open mind – Let them speak without interrupting or jumping to solutions.
Acknowledge their feelings – You don’t need to “fix” anything, just show you understand.
Keep it judgment-free – Avoid phrases like “Just try to be more positive” or “It’s not that bad.”
Ask if they need support – Offer help in a way that respects their choices.
What to Say:
✔ “Thanks for sharing that with me. That sounds really tough.”
✔ “I really appreciate you opening up to me—how can I help?”
✔ “You’re not alone in this. Have you thought about speaking with someone who could support you?”
It’s okay if you don’t know what to say. Just being present and listening is enough.
4. Encouraging Next Steps
Once they’ve shared, you might want to gently encourage them to take action that could help.
If they need more support:
"There are some great resources available if you ever want to reach out. I can help you find them if you’d like."
If work is the main stressor:
"Would it help to talk to [Manager/HR] about adjustments that could make things easier?"
If they’re unsure what to do next:
"Let's figure this out together."
Some workplaces have Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) or other mental health supports, remind them that these are available.
5. Checking In Again
One conversation isn’t always enough. Follow up in a way that feels natural to let them know you still care.
✔ “Hey [Colleague’s Name], just wanted to check in. How have you been feeling?”
✔ “I was thinking about our chat the other day—how are things going?”
✔ “No pressure to talk, but I just wanted to see how you’re doing.”
Even a quick follow-up can show them they’re not alone.
Final Thoughts
You don’t need to be an expert to offer support. Just showing you care can have a huge impact.
Respect their space. If they’re not ready to talk, let them know you’re available whenever they are.
Encourage, but don’t push. Suggest resources, but let them decide what’s best for them.
Take care of yourself, too. Supporting someone else is important, but your wellbeing matters as well.
By looking out for each other, we create a workplace where everyone feels valued, supported, and heard.
Having an effective conversation is what Mental Health First Aid/mental health awareness training teaches. Not how to fix people, but how to support them. Because no one should have to struggle alone.
About Abbie Williams:
Founder of Letters of Hope | Gold Coast Young Australian of the Year 2024 | Mental Health & Workplace Wellbeing Advocate | Lived Experience of Bipolar
I help organisations create mentally healthy workplaces through training, resources, and meaningful initiatives—all while funding Letters of Hope, a charity supporting those struggling with mental health. If you're looking for expert guidance on workplace mental health or want to collaborate, let’s connect!